The Deluxe Hoser Package....
 

First Class airfare to Scotland. If you live in Scotland Lady Carole Ann will take ye to Inverness!

A horse ride from Inverness to Craigh na Dun with a red heided kilted Scotsman on a horse called Donas.

A Choice of the Following.....
Sausage Buffet
Picnic and a Sausage
Sausage in a Blanket

A shot of  "Stone Passing Gene" given by a sexy male nurse, bare chested of course!

A CD and player, includes the CD "Take me to Jamie!", just in case you cant keep your thoughts straight.

Champagne toast before you go through the stones.

One care package for your arrival on the other side, which includes..........
Antibiotics
Tampons
Mascara
Jewels to barter
Mace
Solar powered blow dryer
Really big ax
Whiskey flavored condoms in that nice Fraser tartan wrapper
Solar powered computer with Office 2000
Hamburger Helper or Haggis Helper (only one please)
Chocolate
Midol Extra Strength
Body Wash and a Loofah
In honor of Ms. Gabaldon...a case of Milky Way Darks and Diet Pepsi.
(We dinna think its Mountain Dew Judie!)

A nice little shove from the red heided kilted horseman in case you lose your nerve.

Deluxe accommodations at Castle Leoch upon your arrival..
(these are not guaranteed)

The Cheap Scottish Package......
 

    Your own transportation to Scotland.

    Ride from Inverness to Craigh na Dun on a sheep named Blackie Jack Randy.

    A "Stone Passing Gene" shot from a nurse named Loghead.

    A nice toss from Bruno incase you lose your nerve.

    Bandages, just in case Bruno misses and you actually crash into the stones.

    Simple wooden casket. Bruno sometimes gets a wee bit carried away.  Hey! it happens!

Your Tour Guides...

The Deluxe Tour

Tired of the rigors of mountain life in Northern California Gordon "Scotty" Walker of Clan MacGregor

decided to up and move his wife of 35 years away from the mall and to the Highlands of Scotland.

 Not to abandon his Lallypals he now gives The Samhain Adventure Deluxe Tour.

The Cheap Scottish Tour...

Kelly Wenchia is your host for this tour.  Kelly was a really  busy mother of two,

Brownie Leader, and adoring wife.  But....since Adrian Paul dropped her as his

"wench" of the moment, she has fled to Scotland where she enjoys her new

"position" as tourguide.  Don't mess with Kelly especially when she is stoned!

Reserve NOW!!!!

call

 1-800-I LUV J ME