Hosers On.......Hosers Off!


On Friday afternoon there was a mass invasion of Hosers into Vancouver.  We divided and conquered.  Hedy took a wee group in her uptown new PT Cruiser, and a larger group of Hosers took the Skytrain.  The larger group met with Mairghread for a day of shopping and site-seeing, but were sidetracked by the Hoser Saloon in Gastown.  


The Sluts of Gastown!



Back Row:

Chief  Mairghread, Bella Bev, Laffy Leah, Cocky Colleen, Dame Daintry,  Jaded Janice & Shameless Sharon

Front Row:

Condom Chris, Chug-a-lug Char, Ravishing Rita, Gussied up Gwen & Katty Kimberly


Sluts in the hall!

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Sharon B (standing guard) Kimberly, Daintry, Gwen, Janice M, and Colleen L and her bodacious ta-tas./ Chris with her whiskey flavored plaid condoms tucked in her cleavage!/Colleen, Kimberly, Rita & Daintry./ Collen showing off her tattoo to Sharon, Gwen, & Rita. 

Colleen's tattoo.....


CF took it upon herself to make sure M&M was at that little gathering of sluts....

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I went to the Surrey Sluts 2000 gathering and I told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on , and so on.....



P.T. Hosers

Some of us remaining Hosers, Hedy took on a wee tour of Vancouver. But not before we could see how many Hosers we could fit into a P.T. Crusier!



 Hedy, Scotty, Ellie & M&M visited Stanley Park, had lunch there and then had ice cream at Cows.  We also didn't bring a camera either! No we must of brought a camera, 'cause how would we have a picture of this!

Ellie sorbet cone, that we thought was a bit too lite, so Hedy put some whip cream on top. 

 Notice M&M's big ass sundae in the mirror.  M&M would also like to add that she didn't finish the whole thing, and Scotty ate her bowl!

  A recap of the day

 by RDawn

(verra suprising she could even walk the next day!)


On Friday, the skies were overcast and there was a bit of rain spitting down on us, but a few of us mentioned that we would like to make a trip into Vancouver for some shopping. What's a bit of rain to a bunch of Hosers? It was soon realized, that this was a popular idea, and we ended up deciding to make a Hoser tour of it. Mairghread offered to be our guide, little did she know what she was getting into, and said she would meet us at the Waterfront in Vancouver. Originally, we thought we would take cars in, but as warnings of parking hazards and lack of parking were reported, we optioned to use Hedy's idea of the city bus and Skytrain route.

    So it was a rag tag group of Hosers, including Colleen L, Char2, Janice M, Sharon B, Kimberly, Gwen, Daintry, Bev F, Lea, Chris, and myself, that ventured into Vancouver. Colleen L had the directions, which after traveling from Seattle with her driving, should have given me fair warning of the adventures yet to come.

    As we leave the hotel lobby, we notice Hedy's brand spanking new PT Cruiser out front. We immediately gush and slobber all over it. With a completely lack of prudence, Hedy releases the locks and we proceed to see how many Hosers can fit in a Cruiser. I never did get a final count, but we had at least 2 in the trunk. I don't remember if Scotty's sausage was in there at that time or not. *scratches head*

     Alas, Hedy had to be on her way with Hosers of her own to guide (M&M, Scotty, and Ellie, I believe) and we were supposed to meet Mairghread shortly. So with plans to meet again at dinner that night we waved each off on our various adventures.

    Directly from the hotel, we walked the few blocks to the nearest bus stop to take a city bus to the Skytrain depot. We crossed what seemed like several streets, having to stop and consult on exactly which side of the street the bus stop resided. We made a decision, got to the stop, bus came, and Daintry hopped on to make sure it was the proper bus ... it wasn't. The driver told Daintry we needed to be at the stop on the other side of the street. Well, after all of our proper street crossings using the crosswalks and lights, we have had enough, and just crossed right in front of the sign that said "No Crosswalk. Use Overpass" stomping through the hedges to the other side.

    Once at the correct bus stop, having just missed our bus, we set about making sure everybody had correct change. A few of us studied the unfamiliar coins, invoking the help of the Canuck Hosers. This also began a day of receiving strange looks from the locals. After a bit of trading and combining coins, we all had the $1.50 we needed for the bus. Hedy had told us to make sure we ask for a transfer when we got on the bus, so the Skytrain would be free. Again, Daintry got on first, made sure it was the right bus, it was, and asked for her transfer. Slight glitch. With the transfer, the cost was $1.75. Another mad scramble through our coin purses, quick trades, and just "what the hell pass your available coins around" occured. We only held up the bus a wee bit. Now on the correct bus, with our transfers, we proceeded to the Skytrain depot. I guess on most buses, no one talks, and we had 11 Hosers doing their normal chatting and laughing on this bus. There were way too many conversations going on to keep track, but the bossy ladies up front (Janice M and Colleen L, by their own admission) were leading the racket. You wouldn't think that would be an odd thing, but we were getting those strange looks again. We made it to the Surrey Central Skytrain Depot without further adventure, but once our train arrived..... *big sigh*

    There was a bit of a line to get on, so being the nice Hosers that we were, we just shuffled politely along with everybody else. No pushing or shoving, until the dinging noise started, then it was a free for all. Only two or three Hosers were on the train when the doors started to close. (How were we supposed to know we only had a limited amount of time to get on board??) Our brave Welsh Warrior Woman courageously sacrificed her body to the door gods, throwing herself between the closing doors. While using her super strength to hold the doors open, all the Hosers were able to scramble aboard. Strange looks...again. We only delayed the train a wee bit. By this time I am thinking we are not a popular group among the Vancouver public transport system.

    Again, Colleen had the directions, which I think she received from Hedy--even scarier. All most of us knew was that we got off at the last stop. This took a bit of time and we continued our Hoserosity down the line, chatting and laughing. Strange looks. You would think these people had never seen Hosers before. I guess those Wet Coasters don't get out much. *shrugs*

    Finally, we came to the last stop, or what we thought was the last stop. Colleen told us that was it, and we all departed in an orderly fashion. We stood there for a moment or two, trying to get our bearings, as Kimberly asked a gentleman if that was indeed the last stop. I don't know what he told her, but she jerked up with a panicked look and hollered for us to get back on. No dignity or decorum this time, we made a mad rush back onto the Train. I was wondering why the doors are staying open so long, we definitely didn't have this kind of time when we got on. I wasn't really paying attention, so I don't really know what happened to cause the next Mad Hosers Dash, but all the sudden Daintry yelled, "HOSERS OFF!!" Well, the doors had been open for quite some time now, and like the mad group of heifers we were, we swarmed off the Train, trampling, gouging, and taking over anything in our wake. The worse victim was a Vancouverite caught in our stampede and unceremoniously dumped off the Train with us. The look on his face was just indescribable. The doors were doing their dinging thing by that time, so he had no time for comment, and just quickly reboarded the Skytrain. Completely accustomed to the strange looks directed our way by now, we laughed with hilarity at our own antics.

    And that was just the beginning.

***skerit note: It occurs to me writing this that the word "hoser" (not capitalized) is actually a word used in Canada. We have so often used it with our own meaning, I forgot. It gives new meaning to the way the locals looked at each other and us, and the extremely startled expression on the stampede victims face when it was yelled, "ALL HOSERS OFF!!"

Did I hear him mumbling, "I am not a hoser, I am not a hoser"??***





These pictures courtesy of RDawn and her sightseeing on Saturday with Mairghread, Gwen & Chris.


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Stanley Park

Geese./ Chris, Mairghread & Gwen on carriage ride./ Our carriage./ The Totem Coral.


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Downtown Vancouver from the Southshore./ Grouse Mt. playing Peek-a-boo!/ Memorial Ship's Head./High Tide mermaid statue.


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Native guide Mairghread. /Hosers at Steam Clock in Gastown./ Skytrain./Downtown Vancouver from Stanley Park.


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Killer Whale Sculptor at Aquarium in Stanley Park



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