Name Yer Boobsy Twin Contest

This is how the contest came about, you see Merc, M&M and Scotty were in a chat one night and the conversation went a litle like this....

Three Hosers Discuss Equal Rights

(.)The Contest(.)


So there you have it, hosers............Scotty, Merc and M&M are hosting a NAME YOUR BOOBSY TWINS contest. Here's your chance to get in on the fun of naming your body parts, if you have the ballocks for it!!! Claim your EQUAL RIGHTS!!! If Jamie and Claire can name weenis's, how hard can it be for hosers to name their Lallyhooters? So, rise to the challenge, put your best chest forward, shine those headlights on high beam, and POST AWAY!



Here's how it's gonna work....
1. Think up hosed names for both of your Boobsy Twins. You may include a brief explanation as to why you chose the names, if you wish.

2. Post them in a reply below so that they not exposed on the board, but so that others can peek after entering themselves.NO PICTURES PLEASE. Any hosers posting pics will be immediately disqualified. *g* (Sorry Scotty!)

3. Contest closes at Midnight (eastern time) on January 26th, so get those entries in! Don't be left dangling!

4. Prizes will be awarded for "Most Hosed", "Most Poetic" and "Random Name Drawn Outta A Bra" This is Scotty's part, as he's the breast man for the job.


It's the 

 "Battle of the Boobs"

here we go!



(.)The Winners(.)



Most Hosed!

Sharon B. 

and the MacBubbie Twins!


in here (.)(.) *g*>>>> 

The MacBubbie Twins 

Sharon B 


Her Booby Prize!


From the Clan Wear collection, this  Je Suis Breast unique  "Freseliere " Bra honors Clan Fraser and your own personal 'berries';  created by Merc.



Most Poetic!

Jodi Yo B

and George & Dubya

Okay, here we go!! >>>>>>> 

Okay, so I read your post and instantly the first thing that came to mind was Null and Void but I got to thinking a little bit today...*ahem*....

To name my boobies you want me to do
and believe me I don’t need no push,
So George and Dubya will be their names
cuz they’re right over top of my Bush. 

Jodi YoB

Her Booby Prize!


Hand -crafted  "Thistle Me This" Bra from Je Suis Breast's  Scottish Emblems  group;  a  Merc original.




Random Hoser!

Since Helen wouldn't give Scotty one of her bras to pick a name from M&M's dh Brian did the deed!

and the winner is....


along with Pixie & Dixie

Once upon a time... 

I was a member of the itty bitties, so, the ladies were named the Pixies until I moved in with my boyfriend....not only did I gain a little weight, I grew mega-boobs. A to C. So, I named one Pixie, in honor of what they used to be, and one Dixie-the stripper name I could use now that I have no need for a wonder bra. 


Her Booby Prize!



A one of a kind handmade "My Hearts Belong To Jamie" bra from The Highland Collection of Je Suis Breast  designed by M&M! 



(.)The Entries (.)

Poems, etc. 

At your request I named my breasts...come inside and share the jests>>>>>> 

In tribute to my mother I oft call it My Top Shelf
For just as she did I am known to spill things on myself

A friend of mine calls them “the girls.” They are my bosom friends.
Now M&M says name them things! --the hosedness never ends.

I hadn’t thought to give a name to my curvaceous chest
And Lallyhooters One and Two seems rather gauche at best. 

Perhaps I’ll call them Beau-Regard, since they are nice to see
Or name them after Lallypals, like CF and Judie.

(On second thought, there’s something wrong in choosing such a name
--- I just don’t think my love life then would ever be the same)

Remembering my Viking suit from Halloween last year
The Gertrude and Brunhilde twins might suddenly appear

Or maybe this one’s Xena, and the other Gabrielle
With Amazonian nipples that are perkier than hell

Or Stephanie and Lula...yeah, I like those names a lot
“Hi, honey, meet the girls!” It actually sounds hot!

Thanks, you hosers, this was fun and wasted lots of time
Renaming certain body parts and putting it to rhyme. 



Here ya go! 

Tippy Toes, my Sugar, is simply much to sweet,
to shy I fear, when all can hear
to brag upon her teats!
To be fair with all the care
size isn't the best ruler.
For, truth be told, hot or cold,
All leave a man a drooler.
I contend, to this end,
to win this I must wait,
two names they send, while I my friend,
am called upon for eight!
So with your wins, brag my friends,
Tippy and I won't quibble,
Instead of two, which is so few,
tis her eight I get to nibble! 



JackieR's DH DavidR adds his 2 cents worth >>>>>


 This time, my rhyme > > > > > > > 

There were 2 boobs who yelled "Tame Me!"
Their comrade below would yell "Lay Me!"
They were no discreet
When they were in heat,
And they ached and they peaked for our JAMIE !



My last minute entry, trying for the poetic prize>>> 

My maiden name is Murdock, and I wanted to name my good friends after the evil twins from Ardsmuir prison, but I can't remember their names...was it Wee Jimmie and Wee Jack MacMurdo?
Anyhoo, I've decided to go for the poetic and therefore boobsy twins thine name art...

"The Road Less Traveled" and "All the Difference" 




How about "Flip" and "Flop"...coz that's the sound they make when they hit my stomach, after I take off my bra.



Here is a little story for you:

A long time ago in Boobyland, there was a woman named Vicki. She had the most lovely breasts, both firm and tight.
She met a man who adored those breasts (no, his name wasn't Scotty). He called them bodacious ta-ta's, luscious
pillows and heavenly boobies. He was a boob-man, no doubt about it.

One day, the man wondered if he could make them bigger. He asked Vicki, and she said of course! Over the next 9
months, the man was in a constant state of lust; those lovely mammaries kept getting larger and larger, finally topping out
at an uncomfortable 38F (could have been bigger, but that's the biggest bra I had). The man had never had it so good.

Eventually, they stopped growing. But the man didn't mind, now he got dinner with dessert, so he was still happy. But the
breasts didn't like having to provide dinner, so they went on strike. They decided that they didn't like being a 38F, so they
went on a diet. Smaller and smaller they got, until they were happy at 34B. They liked it there and the man, although he
still laments about it occasionally, grew to appreciate them as well.

The moral of the story is, I couldn't think of a name. But under the circumstances, I think they would be proud to be
"Been there, done that, now I can't fill out the T-Shirt". 



Hope this is the right place to post the comical answers. Come inside>>>> 

In my hazelnut chocolate haze, the mind does wander.... how about TWIN PEAKS. 



So I guess I am first to name what inside my 'boulder holders' - so hang loose and step inside>>> 

Ok how about 'Bittie' and 'Tittie' because I have my fair share of a bit 'o' titties.
My DH says 'Swit' and 'Swoo' because that's what he says when I step outta the shower. And along the same lines 'Wolf' and 'Whistle'. 
My DH is always offering to help hold them up for me. 

JackieRwho's keeping hers on - otherwise I'd knock everone over if I turned too quick 


*between giggles* Okay, see inside for my entry... 

What a hilarious contest!

My entry:
Eenie & Meenie! *g*
(don't even ask where Minie and Moe are, okay?)



Ok don't know where the heck you hosers want my answers but I'll try it here! 

The ta ta's that I was not so graciously gifted with are POINT (.) and POINTLESS ( ) 
Scotty -you may have to have the inverted nipple thing explained to ya man! 



For your reading pleasure, introducing (drum roll please) Laverne and Shirley!
Here's their story. When they were young, they were truly bodacious (although I didna know it then - young and foolish as I was!) They were small, pert, with wee nippies that pointed straight ahead! (Those cute wee nubbins puckered up nicely in a cold breeze *g*) Best of all, I could literally paste a couple of bandaids over them nippies and go braless! (And I often did!*g*)

Then they did a fine job of nourishing my three bairns, and they were sexy then as well, as full and round as could be, and they were lethal weapons as I could put your eye out at 10 paces (I had REALLY good aim!). The downside was that I couldna do without the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders 24/7 for about 5 years, and I had to sleep on my back unless I wanted to wake up verra wet in the morning. (Should I mention that the dh had to wear a tee-shirt (hi Fred) during Mmmphing to absorb the spray - I really was a good producer... moo!)

Nowadays, weel... they have a mind of their own (I think of them as a unit rather than individual entities you see *g*) They are nay so pert anymore, and iffin I DON'T wear the approved appliance (with underwires and cookies no less!) they lay there on my chest wall trying to peek out of my shirt to see what color shoes I have on today! With the bit of weight gain I've had since quitting smoking, they are definately in the "more than a mouthful" range, but once I lose the weight, I will once again be in the "more than a mouthful's a waste" catagory.

For now though, the dh is quite happy with these silly appendages. Must be a guy thing.

Thus ends the saga of Laverne and Shirley. You now know more than you ever needed to know aboot Colleen's tatas - just file this under TOO MUCH INFORMATION! 

Colleen LeTata 

I was just explaining this post to my dh and now HE wants to play!!! Come inside for Steve LeHoser's entry>>>> 

If you were at Surrey, this will make sense. If you didn't, and you have been watching the boards you may have figured this out! my dh suggests the label Swing Handles for the aforementioned tata's! 

Colleen LeTata 


At least if I am crazy I am not alone>>>>>>>>>> 

Well there is a few names they go by depending on the mood.Twin torpedos when I am wearing my underwire.Heavenly mounds of lovelyness when I am reading a romance*snort*.German helmets when the wind blows a bit too cool.Boobs have many names*G* 

JeanMc getting jiggy with it 


PEEK and PIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was always told that that when they Peek, then you can always see the PIKE!!!!!!!!! 

Stacy G. 


Left - Wang right - Chung...!Straight from Mr. Willoughby! 



and now the pouting pink paps>>> come inside>>>> 

Nothing really clever I'm afraid. I've always referred to erect nipples 'chapel hat pegs' and the dh calls them my groodies but as for a name, hmmmm...I guess if I had the same rights as a male and they did go up and down on their own and therefore required the mandatory naming I would choose Marm and Harry... surname Glands. Sorry if its corny but its the best I could come up with at short notice ;-) 

Gwen of the puffy pink part....... 


och! ..they haven't been "named" yet....? 

weel, i'm ashamed to admit it...but hey i'm young, they havna been used by anyone long enough lately to get nicknames, and the only thing they've ever been called before were...*g* "my tangerines"(they're small ye ken...)

i guess they are "No Name Brand Boobs?"
Lady Nes(hanging her head in shame) 


I'm sure my boyfriend is going to kill me, but what the heck! Step inside>>>>>>>> 

Don't ask me why, but my boyfriend does have a name for mine. You would think a female name, right? No! Mine are Bert and Ernie. Like in Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie. And don't start imagining things here! They are perfectly normal, about the same size and everything. Once in a while he goes Hi Bert! Hi Ernie! and gives each a little squeeze. Go figure that one. 

Janice A. 


In here.... 

Legends that FALL.... Gravity!!! 

Astrina - Brenna 


Ok so come in here to see............. 

Ok so I used to call them Flopsy and Dropsy for verra obvious reasons - but since shooting out that watermelon a few weeks back I have become the booby lady from hell - the dh loves to call me Daisy and the wee fiend can smell me coming from 100 paces - so now they are called Purty and Perky :-) and Merc, they DO sit up by themselves they are BEAUTIFUL now - gotta love that breastfeeding thing!!!! You can hang a towel on each one :-) So does that beat Scotty and his wash cloth???? *BG* 

Mandi with the mountainous mammaries 


Finally made it over here!!! *G* Well, I'm always wondering what I'm going do with these things (but my DH knows!)>>>> 

Thing 1 and Thing 2 *BG* 



Here's mine ...... 

DH suggested "the Dynamic Duo", I preferred - DH "Blake's" for one, & "Mel's" (as in Gibson) for the other. *G* I suggested a name for DH Blake's - "Hairy & Scarey"! 

Donna Mc 


Well, come inside for my rhythmic answers>>>>>>> 

Well, the DH named them the Bongo Drums and his uhhum... washcloth holder... is named the Bongo Drumstick!!

I can't believe I just admitted this!!!!(turning red and hiding the screen from the DH) 



Boobies??? What are boobies????>>>>>>>>>>> 

If I were to name them, they would be the Perpetually Perky Itsy and Bitsy. While Itty & Bitty are twins (they *were* born on the same day, at the same time, to the same body), they are no' identical. Bitsy being just an itsy bitsy itstier than Itsy.

I thought o' the names Teenie and Weenie, but while Teenie didna seem so bad, Weenie made me sound rather like I had an extry part (one that is neither needed or wanted.... uh,, as a body part o' my own mind ye.) And nae body wants ta have a itsy bitsy teenie Weenie anyhoo.

To give an exampple o' Itsy and Bitsy's lack o' statuer, some friends and I were discussin' size in mixed company. When I remarked on my lack o' endowments, a verra nice lad commented with the ole standby, "More than a mouthful is a waste." To which my soon-to-be ex-lover pipes up, "Yea, but less than that, is a shame."

Itsy and Bitsy have their good 'points' though. For one, they dinna need spandex babysitters (the term 'boulder holder' certainly doesna apply!). For another, we are no' afraid o' gravity. *vbg* 



It was two hundred years ago.... 

Wait a minute! I'm RUTH not Rupert! And besides... y'all don't wanna hear the long, sad story about the rise and decline of my boobs. Although they have achieved some fame...they are the #1 item on IHOP's economy breakfast menu.

Fried Egg and Flapjack.



This is definitely more than you wanted to know, but...>>> 

I'm kinda small, and growing up, my sister called them "mosquito bites"... not the nicest thing. Boobiless is also a nickname for ME, but as for the tatas, no guy has named them for me, and I don't have a relationship with them yet, so I guess "mosquito bites" it remains...




Oh I hope I post this right - I wouldnt want to make a booboo! 

My chest has been known to have many names depending on what time of life I am in:
eg: When we were first married (and I've got to admit on occasion even now!) they were known as First Gear and Overdrive (Refering to my response when mmmphing!)
eg: Then when the babies came along they were known as Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner (No I dont have three!)

Lady janeW 


Sisters in the quest for equality! Let us break down that last barrier between the sexes, the naming of body parts! For too long women have been excluded from this expression of true acceptance of our boobies as individuals worthy of respect in their own right (or left, as the case may be)! :o) 

Okay, after that impassioned speech, I must admit that, after breastfeeding four children for pretty much 10 years, the best names to apply to my boobies are Bossy and Bessy (moooooo!). 


Okay! two names here! 

When I was breastfeeding Mike, who's almost 20y/o now YIKES!!!, I called them collectively The Milk Bar. Or the Soda Fountain, 'cos as soon as I popped one out for him to latch on, a long stream would shoot out right across the room! Now I call them Up and Down, 'cos the left one's Up here and the left one's Down there! 

Sylvia A 


I can't believe I'm revealing these names.... 

...only at Lallybroch would I humiliate myself in this way!! Well my dh gave them hippy names from the sixties to describe the fact that I errr..hate wearing a bra and try to get away with not wearing one as often as I can....

Stefanie S 


hosers in here for ( . )( . ) names....... 

Well my husband has named the Squish and Squash so now thats what I call them.He usally calls them that as he's sqishing and sqaushing them!After two kids they look squished and squashed).They certainly don't look like they used too. 



WOW I'm gone a couple of days and look what's happened ! Mayhem !!! Everything's all "Titsy"- turvy!!!!! I think we're all crazy, and some of you are damned funny !!!!!!! Here's my entry> > > > > > > 

LOCK for the Left one, STOCK for the Right one, and BARRELL for the gentleman's apparatus and Viola !!!! - the 3 essential parts of mmmmmmphming ! 



My children always called them>>>>>> 


Kathleen mother of 3 girls 


What's in a bra?? A boob by any other name would taste as sweet! 

What should I name my hoser hooters? Well, lets see, I have to go with TITanic and Betty Boob. Can we name our buttcheeks too???? DynASSty, and I can't believe its not BUTTer. 



Mincing words here.... 

Bob and Bob.

Named my dh after them! *g* 



Ok, with the help of Ed's Social Klub and Kaffeeklatsch.... 

Hill and Dale.... Cuz what once stood proud upon the horizon is now on the downslope.... Then again, I could have held out for hither and gone.... :) 



Well, we are a way's off from Spring,... yet.....>>>>>>>> 

The DH insists on his original theme......
We have the Easter Eggs - which of course, go in the Easter Basket. And when the "bunny" gets excited the "ear" sticks straight up!

Here COMES Peter Cotton Tail now so gotta hit the enter key!! 



My grandmother taught me these facts of life>>>>> 

They start out as rosebuds but end up as hanging baskets. I am well into the potted plant stage, but had to look in the garden catalog for ideas for names. Many were hilarious in this context but I chose Morning Glory and Forget-me-Not. 



OK--ok....I hate like h*** to admit this but....... 

Dip and Dale......yup, no further comment will be made. 



For what "little" it's's my names... 

Well, I usually just call them bumps (for good reason), but if I have to name about Ping and Pong? They're about the right size for that. 



Ok, No mountains, no valley, hills or dales here>>>>> 

Mine are

Henri and June

That's all I'm saying. No story!! 



OK, I'll bite (figuratively that is!), I'll name mine Twin Hillocks, as they are not really peaks 



Cute is what they are.........> 

call mine Tid & Bit are my ta'tas names. 



I'll enter as Shania and the Twains !

aka Ellie Mac Mounds


Without peaking.....
Drip, Drop..............Things are moving south. 



I wanna play, too! 

Fuzzy and Harry 



My grandmother taught me these facts of life>>>>> 

They start out as rosebuds but end up as hanging baskets. I am well into the potted plant stage, but had to look in the garden catalog for ideas for names. Many were hilarious in this context but I chose Morning Glory and Forget-me-Not. 



From an old rhyme >>>>> 

Knick and Knack (paddywhack give your man a bone) 



Ok....after much brow beating by "The Committee to Name Lallybrocher Breasts"................ 

I've finally thought of names for mine. How about 'Flip' & 'Flap'? I'm reasonably well endowed, I've had 2 kids, I'm not exactly svelt and I'm 43 1/2 years old (ahem, gravity??). I figure it'll take you exactly 1 sec to figure out why these names popped into my mind. *G*



From the Chairperson of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee....... 

Call mine the Mac Nibs (or should that be Nips?). 



OK, I didn't cheat and look at the other responses, so here goes!>>>> 

After childbirth and nursing - I have to fold them to get them into the "holder"!! This little song says it all - I just don't know how to get you the tune!! :)))))

Do your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble too and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you fling'em or'your shoulder
like a Continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang low?

Note to Scotty: you can substitute the WORD "balls" for "boobs" - but ONLY in THIS song!!! It doesn't work in real life!!!

So, what are mine named?

Flopsy and Dropsy!!!



I live in a college dorm with lots of guys, so we took a little poll>>>>> 

And I think the best ones they managed to come up with were "Luscious" and "Temptress". Go figure. College guys really do have vocabs that stretch beyond "beer" and "pretzels"... *g* 

Ceit Mc 


Just "the girls". 

That's all. I got this idea from the beginning of the Shania Twain song "Man I Feel Like a Woman" where she says "Let's go girls..." So, that's what I call 'em. 



Weel as a Surrey Slut , guess I have to add>>>> 

well as one who had her tata'[s hanging outta her top, boobie and dooey. I'd have said, here they are!Moo,Moo! 

Chris, who no way could come up with anything hosed at this late date


Ok here it goes, or there they went!!!! 

Well the only time i"ve had knockers was when i was preggers and then the wee rascals left again, so here is what i'm calling them,,,,,

This n' and That n'

said with a southern drawl :-) 



Better late than never! My entry is inside>>>> 

I call my boobies a NUISCANCE! The darned things are just too big! (I know Scotty, you are probably thinking there's no thing as "too big" but you try carrying them around all day).

Just once I would like to stop in a Victoria's Secret and pick out a lacy little thin-strapped, hook-in-the-front, padded push-up bra. I'm trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey in the bra I'm wearing. The only thing padded on it is the shoulder straps - and if I got a push, I'd pop right out over the top of it. And speaking of straps, just forget wearing anything strapless - unless I want my boobies down by my bellybutton.

Shopping for a swimming suit isn't any better. What is the deal with padded swimsuits anyway? Like I need extra padding. It's nearly impossible to find a two-piece suit that I don't literally fall out of when I bend over. Suffice it to say, I wear one-piece suits. Forget the runs along the beach also. Running with boobies this size could result in a serious back strain, or at least a black eye.

Let me tell you, being "well-endowed" is highly overrated..... 



Twin Peaks = Mary & Betty HILL
(I went to Mary Hill Junior Seconday School, so, the left boobie has always been "Mary Hill". This came about after someone read the school name on a T-Shirt (Hi Fred!) and asked what I called my right one- -- true story). 



When I was in high school, I would wear an old T-shirt (thanks Fred) of my Dad's. He went to West Point and the emblem with name was right over my left boob! So, my BF called the left one West Point and the right one East Point!!! 

ElizabethT (who need to take the stuff fo her memory - what's it called?) 


My story>>> 

Once upon a time, I hand proud and perky, bobbing up and down as I strolled along.

Then came the babies and we changed to the "Bold and Beautiful".

Now I have grand children and I have Flopsy and Mopsy with no bunny tales ): They droop and dangle at a downward angle ): 

The only way I can get them to fall forward is to bend at the waist. When I stand up to salute they fall to my feet.

How sad this was until dh mentioned this: "Honey, I use to have to reach for you when I was younger, arthritis keeps me from stretching but nature knows best. Now, you and yours just slids right over!" 



Well, they aren't bad, if I do say so myself, but when the kids came along . . . 

and I was nursing, I was referred to as "The Dairy Queen". When they began to mistake mama's milk for steak (i.e., teeth), the Dairy Queen was "closed." 

Lady Diane B 


Without peaking..... 

Drip, Drop..............Things are moving south



For what "little" it's's my names... 

Well, I usually just call them bumps (for good reason), but if I have to name about Ping and Pong? They're about the right size for that. 



Here's mine, if you want to see 'em! 

Well, after much thought, I decided to name mine...

Whooooo and Hooooooo! 

(Yup, that's what HE said!) 
and just because Hosers rule!

DeAnn Z 


Named after a T-shirt I used to wear>>>>>>>>>> 

I used to wear a T-shirt in college that I had purchased at the Seasame Street Store with Ernie and Bert on it.

Thus, guys in college would come up to me and say "Hi, Ernie! Hi, Bert!". 



What a long list of replies, now that I have entered I can go back and read everyone's. 

I guess you've had the usual stuff like, Lucy and Ethel, Thelma and Louise, Barnum and Bailey? I have been thinking all week and can't come up with anything interesting. Pretty pathetic eh! When I was little and my mom was breast feeding my brother I used to call them feeders, but that sure isn't going to get Scotty's vote, so here it is .... Wonder Mountain, Dolly and Maimie. 



From a galaxy far away and long ago..... 

I canna remember but one! When I was marrit the first time, they had names. Then there was a long dry spell and by the time I marrit the second time, they didna hae names anymore...altho #2 had named his unit "Slick McWheezer," but I digress. One of 'em was named Griselda... canna for the life of me remember the other! 



Here's mine >>> 

I keep thinking AM and FM - for someone I used to know, who must've thought he was tuning a friggin' radio! 



Thanks so much, all you busom buddy hosers, for the mounds of entries to our

 Name Your Boobsy Twins Contest!  

We're thrilled with your enboobiastic response, and have had the breast time reading your entries..........there are some real hooters that are titilating for sure. We can assure you that choosing winners was NOT a nipple thing! *g*  We hope playing has been a real teat for you, too!

Merc, Scotty and M&M

This contest sponsored by

Je Suis Breast Bras of Scotland

When you dinna want yer cup to runneth over!